


After our life

by Mochi_bitch



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M, cried while writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26311588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mochi_bitch/pseuds/Mochi_bitch
Summary: Basically what I think happened after LittleLuxrays "In Another Life" ending.About a year after the whole thing when Akaashi is off to university (to medical school or what its called) and goes through old boxes to pack he stumbles upon one without a label so he decides to open it. He thought he was over it but the ghost of Koutaru is still haunting him to this day. Will he take one step forward to his happiness or will he let himself be held back by the owl's sharp claws.Or Akaashi and Boukto talk about letting each other go so Akaashi can heal and find the happiness to move on with life.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Kudos: 21





	After our life

“Now that you’re off to university soon, please go through the old boxes in your room too honey, I don’t want you to miss anything important” Akaashis mother yelled throughout the house to be sure her son would actually hear and follow her advice. Akaashi just blurted out a quick “ok” and headed towards the mess of boxes that was his room. Even though there were boxes all over the room it felt empty, like the room was missing its soul somehow with everything packed down. 

_"You are beautiful."_

_"You... Think that I'm beautiful?"_

His mom had indeed put some more boxes in there. They all had labels with his name on them and what they stored. One of them had “Akashi - awards” written on it and a smaller one had “Akashi - art” on it. But one of them stood out. It didn’t have a label and it was distinctively smaller than any other box. He decided to look through it and carefully sat it down on his still standing desk. He proceeded to open it up but immediately understood its content after seeing the burgundy knit. 

_"Do you want your scarf back?"_

_"Yeah... I do... But I also want you to hold_ _on to_ _it..._ _Please hold on to it,_ _Bokuto_ _."_

As he grabbed his - no - Bouktos burgundy knit scarf out of the box, he could easily smell it had traces of Bokutos scent in it. It had been folded strict and carefully placed on top like a cover for the rest of its content. Underneath laid his old laptop. It wasn’t broken he simply got a new one and had no need for the older model. When he took that out there was only one thing left, the navy-blue blanket. After smelling it he threw the scarf on to his white desk chair than himself on the carelessly done bed of his, at the same time actively avoiding all the boxes not to burst into them. When he finally sat comfortably on the bed, he wrapped himself in the blanket proceeded to push the starting button on the old laptop. 

_"Hey_ _, A_ _kaashi_ _..._ _Let's watch Cloud Atlas."_

“Password... hmm my password... oh right its...” Akaashi mumbled to the now lit up screen while tapping in the correct code. A replay icon could now be spotted. The movie title up in the left corner read “Cloud Atlas”. “Bokutos favorite movie,” he remarked. He shook his head in an attempt to shake the thoughts of his mind, but he soon after realized just how ludicrous of an idea it was and stopped with a sigh for his own stupidity. 

_“All I can say is that sleeping doesn't come as easily as it used to...”_

The movie was completely watched out. Even though it was around 3 hours long he had seen it enough times to know the actors' lines like the back of once hand. Thought it had been a while since he last saw it... Akaashi looked away from his laptop and out the window to his right. As he reached for the windows latch his mind traveled to that one night when Bokuto escaped the hospital just because Akaashi told him he had a nightmare over text. He’d seen Bokuto standing outside in the cold waiting to be greeted, his golden eyes begging to be let inside. When the window he’d struggled with finally unlocked the nipping chilly wind drifted in. He got shivers all over, it was still winter after all. Only after taking the first round of chills, he griped he blanket tighter around himself. 

_"They... Aren't really there, are they?"_

_No... They aren't really there."_

But even the pain couldn’t keep Bokuto of his mind. His mind just kept remembering more memories of them together. "Mr. Apathy..." he chuckled to himself. That was his first ever nickname. Bokuto gave him that before knowing Akaashi's actual name. Though it surely doesn't sound like something great to be called, it fits him pretty well. Or at least it did back then. Sence Bokuto had stopped appearing in his every night dreams three months ago he was left all confused. Now instead of looking into his boyfriend's sweet golden eyes each night, he stared right into something that looked ripped out of a Junji Ito work. But once in a blue moon, the boy slipped into his mind in the daytime too. 

_‘_ _Fatal_ _Familial_ _Insomnia_ _(FFI) is a very rare autosomal dominant inherited prion disease of the_ _brain._ _FFI has no known cure_ _..._ _It involves_ _progressively worsening insomnia_ _which leads to hallucinations_ _and_ _confusional_ _states like that of dementia_ _._ _Other symptoms may include speech problems_ _’_

As his body began to catch up with his mind Akaashi felt a tightening grip around his throat. Soon tears streaming down his cheeks. If it was the thought that ‘This is what he smelled like’ or simply being overwhelmed with the realization that he’d forgotten what Bokuto smelled like completely; what home smelled like. For him to go from slowly progressing weeping to intensive bawling didn’t take long. He’d thrown the navy-blanket of himself and sat with his back against the bedframe curled up, hands covering his face. The cold air seemed to freeze his tears as they kept multiply over and over down his cheeks. Still, he refused to pick up the blanket seemingly forgotten the purpose of blankets altogether. Then muffling his cries to the point of it sounding nonexistent. 

_‘...All the people who've contracted this disease eventually_ ** _die_** _within_ _a year_ _or less...’_

“I-… I wish-h... Life wasn’t so u-unfair” he stated shakingly in between painful sobs, turning to face the scarf he once gave Bokuto. “I-... I wish-h you hadn’t a-asked for my n-number that day” he proceeded, his voice a bit more stabilized. 

“Y-you know Bo, your so selfish. H-h-how could you just... Let me in... YOU WERE SICK GODDAMMIT!!” he cried out. He ran his hand through his hair then rested his head against the frame. 

“Why won't you just let me go already?” was the last thing he whispered as his eyes close. 

_"One, maybe two months at most, if I'm lucky. That's... How long I know I have... Left."_

“Hey Akaashi, did you really mean what you said just now...?” a familiar voice spoke, one that Akaashi knew all too well. 

“Bokuto... I didn’t really mean it like that... I shouldn't have said that” dream-Akaashi spoke. They were standing in a playground. Much like that one Bokuto had described to him when talking about his childhood home. 

“Akaashi... I really do miss you” the I-sleep-8-hours-at-night-version of Bokuto noted. Bokuto was sitting down on a bench looking out over a kids-volleyball field motioning to Akaashi he should sit down too. 

“I miss you too, Bokuto. I wish I wouldn’t have to fall asleep for us to speak...” Akaashi sadly stated after sitting himself down on a free spot next to Bokuto. 

“Don’t take this wrong but I really hope you die soon... I AM NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF, please Akaashi don’t do it, you're alive right now, aren't you? So, don’t do anything dramatic like that I would feel so guilty and it’s really bad to do that and-” 

“It’s ok Bo, I understand what you mean. Though I must admit, it’s been easier now that university’s coming up, but Bokuto what’s with the serious tone all of a sudden?” He said to finally put an end to Bokutos rambling. 

“I- ahh I overheard what you said before when you were awake, and it got me thinking... Maybe it’s time you move on...” Bokuto began while his eyes were locked on the ground not daring to make eye contact. 

“Bokuto I-” 

“NO, Akaashi please let me finish what I have to say, just this once” Bokuto abrupted him, still not looking up. Akaashi did as he was told and waited for Bokuto to keep talking. 

“I realized how much I tear you apart each and every day. I want you to be happy again... I know I took a piece out of you with me when I left and I'm sorry, but I don’t know how to give it back or if I even can, guess were even now sense you took one out of me too... But you know I'm gone, forever, and nothing’s going to change that no matter how you look at it, but I need you to live on, not for me but for yourself. I won’t be in your dreams anymore. I won’t try to reconnect to your soul anymore either, so you will be left alone for a little while... But can you promise me that when the person who will stay comes to you, give them a chance so that- Wait Akaashi, are you crying?” with that Bokuto finished up his speech long ramble only to meet Akaashis watery eyes and soaked cheeks. 

_"Please... Don't visit me... Anymore."_

“Koutaro, please don’t leave me alone” was the only thing he could bring himself to say after hearing how the love of his life just told him to move on. “I don’t want to move on if that means forgetting you and the time I spent with you... Then I would rather die” 

“I don’t think moving on means forgetting it. I think it’s that you have to accept it and overcome it. I don’t want you to forget about me. Please don’t. Just don’t feel held back by the thought of me still being there. I’m dead, remember? When the time comes, we will see each other again. I’ll wait for you in our next life together, just like in Cloud Atlas; just like I promised” Bokuto implied, trying repeatedly to catch the eyes of the pretty boy next to him failing miserably. 

“A-Are you sure?” a still sobbing Akaashi spoke. 

“I’m sure, double sure, triple sure, SUPER ULTRA MEGA-” 

“Kou it's fine now thank you” Akaashi half giggled back, once again interrupting Boukto in one of his more energetic moments, only getting a quickly exhale through the nose, making a sound that was almost like a laugh in response with a wide grin from ear to ear plastered on to Bokutos face. 

“What is it?” 

“You really should smile more often,” 

“You always say that Kou” 

“Just because I say it often doesn't mean it becomes less true” 

“... well...” his already not-so-light-blushing had only intensified after that last statement and Akaashi's heart rate was back to beating at 100mph. 

“Didn’t you just tell me to get over you?!” he proceeded, not really wanting to go back to the topic at hand but even in his state of mind, he knew they needed it. 

“Yeah, I guess I finally said it huh? Well, I wanted to see that smile of yours once more before I'm gone for real...” 

“Wait I didn’t say you could leave!” he said, voice cracking at the end of it still quietly letting out small sobs in between words. 

“Akaashi, are you really disagreeing with me over this? Over you ever being happy again? It’s the first time you’re the childish one out of us” the answer was cold, too cold. The words froze stuck in Akaashis mind. Was he really being childish? He loved him. But... 

“You’re never coming back, isn’t that right Bokuto?” He said out loud. Almost as to assure himself. Bokuto only nodded, his head held low. “Don’t you want to be mine forever? If we split apart now... Maybe we won't find each other again...” 

“Akaashi, I love you so much. Unspoken or not, I love you, and I always will. And because I love you, I’m letting you go. Let me leave so you finally can heal on your own” 

“If you think me living on fine then I will, but wait for me at the end, ok?” 

“I will, I can’t imagine anyone else taking my place in your life either soo...” 

“ ’My dead soulmate I talk to in my dreams’... yeah that’s pretty hard to replace” he chuckled. 

“Mmhm... Akaashi I'm sleepy” Bokuto yawned wide as his eyes started to flicker. 

“Can I lay my head on your lap?” Bokuto asked with pleading eyes. But even though he hadn’t received an answer he still made himself comfy. 

“Sure” Akaashi shortly stated a little too late as Bokuto had already begun closing his eyes. 

“Bokuto...” 

“Yes?” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too. Good night, Akaashi....” one last tear went down over Akaashi's cheek. 

"Good night... Bokuto" 

**Author's Note:**

> You there... Yes YOU, ILYSM thx for reading it <3  
> IM SO SO SORRY IF IT WAS SHITTY  
> Fun fact this is my first time writing fanfic so yolo and plz don't be too harsh on me
> 
> Again all credit to LittleLuray for the original amazing fic (In Another Life).


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